Name:
_______________________________________________________________________
per:_____________
Name of the person whose essay you’re
editing: ______________________________________________________
NOTE to AP students: since you’re
accessing your partner’s personal statement via blog, I recommend you copy and
paste the text into a word doc and edit it there using the “review” feature, or
print it out and edit it by hand. If you
and your partner want to email each other a word doc instead, or use Google
docs, that’s fine too. Please still
post your personal statement on the blog for a grade. (And so I can make
sure you’re making progress! J)
Personal Statements
Peer-editing
After
checking for each bulleted point, initial beside the bullet to indicate you did
this piece of editing.
·
Read through the essay aloud, slowly, to the
writer and any other peer editors. As
you read, mark the following:
o
awkward phrasing with a squiggly line and an
“awk” notation.
o
circle any misspelled words
o
circle any misused or missing punctuation
marks
o
suggest corrections for any awkward word
choices
o
draw a question mark next to anything
confusing
o
THESE ESSAYS NEED TO BE LITERALLY PERFECT IN
TERMS OF GRAMMAR, SPELLING AND SENTENCE FLUENCY. MARK ANYTHING
THAT IS NOT PERFECT.
·
It is imperative that this essay flows
smoothly. Note on the margins where the
essay seems choppy or disconnected.
·
Assess the intro hook:
o
Is it attention getting?
o
Is it overly cheesy? Does it feel forced or strained?
o
Does it make sense? Does it leave too much information OUT? Remember: the hook should make you want to
know more, but it should not
make you feel confused and/or frustrated.
o
WRITE ANY NEEDED IMPROVEMENTS IN THE MARGINS
·
Assess the story telling
o
Does it convey the writer’s “voice”? Does it sound like them? If it’s not written yet, do you think the
story sounds like it will be true to the author?
o
Are there good sensory details? Are there too many? Too little?
o
Are there story-telling devices, like dialogue
and/or anecdotes?
o
Do you feel like you’re being “shown” the story,
rather than “told” the story? Offer
suggestions of how the author might improve his/her story-telling.
o
WRITE ANY NEEDED IMPROVEMENTS IN THE MARGINS
·
Assess the discussion of strengths
o
Does the author smoothly transition into talking
about his/her strengths?
o
Are there too many strengths being discussed?
Should the author focus more on just discussing one or two? If so, help the author pick which strength(s)
to focus on.
o
Does it sound braggy? How might the author better illustrate
his/her strengths, rather than just naming them?
o
Do you feel like you’re being “shown” the
strengths, rather than “told” the strengths?
o
Are there details to back up the author’s
strengths? In other words, if the author
describes him/herself as strong-willed, do they provide evidence to prove that?
o
Does the discussion-of-strengths paragraph seem
connected to the story? How might the
author better connect this paragraph to the story framework?
o
WRITE ANY NEEDED IMPROVEMENTS IN THE MARGINS
How does the
author do connecting back to the story?
o
Does it seem forced? Or does the story flow from one paragraph to
the next?
o
How is the essay’s organization? Does it seem to make sense? Do the different points logically connect?
o
Are there good connecting phrases? How might the author improve his/her
connection from one thought to the next?
o
WRITE ANY NEEDED IMPROVEMENTS IN THE MARGINS.
How is the
wham, bam, slam it home?
o
What final impression of the author does it
leave you with? Does it seem desperate
or forceful? Does it seem inspiring and
relatable?
o
Is the slam-it-home somehow connected to the
rest of the essay’s content?
o
How does it conclude the essay? Does it seem to provide a satisfying finish?
o
Does it leave you feeling confident about the
author’s capabilities and readiness for college?
o
WRITE ANY NEEDED IMPROVEMENTS IN THE MARGINS.
How is the
essay as a whole?
o
How is the organization? Do the different ideas connect to one
another?
o
Is it a
“likable” essay?
o
Did you learn something new about the author?
o
Did it seem personal and conversational while
still sounding wonderfully intelligent?
o
WRITE ANY SUMMARY NOTES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE
PAGE.
No comments:
Post a Comment